Morning Glory

“The society of late twentieth century America is perhaps the first in human history where most grown men do not routinely bear arms on their persons and boys are not regularly raised from childhood to learn skill in the use of some kind of weapon, either for community or personal defense - club or spear, broadsword or long bow, rifle or Bowie knife. It also happens to be one of the rudest and crudest societies in history, having jubilantly swept most of the etiquette of speech, table, dress, hospitality, fairness, deference to authority and the relations of male and female and child and elder under the fraying and filthy carpet of politically convenient illusions. With little fear of physical reprisal Americans can be as loud, gross, disrespectful, pushy, and negligent as they please. If more people carried rapiers at their belts, or revolvers on their hips, It is a fair bet you would be able to go to a movie and enjoy the dialogue from the screen without having to endure the small talk, family gossip and assorted bodily noises that many theater audiences these days regularly emit. Today, discourtesy is commonplace precisely because there is no price to pay for it.”

– Samuel Francis, Chronicles

Featherless Biped.

“An armed society is a polite society.”

– Kim du Toit

The Other Side of Kim.

Rush Limbaugh talked about this Mother/Daughter Combo on his show yesterday.  My curiosity got the better of me, so I checked it out.  You should too.  The article will inspire anger in most of my readers; the comments are priceless!

Now they’re messing with the Holy Water. According to this article, there are some drinking establishments out there that are trying to get away with selling 14 ounce “pints” of beer.

As someone who works in the metrology industry, I’m here to tell you that that’s just WRONG. Anyone who passed the 3rd grade can tell you that a pint is 16 ounces. And if you sell a “pint”, it should be 16 ounces. No discussion necessary. Or allowed.

At least, that’s what the doctors keep telling me.  Actually, they haven’t gone so far as to say “nothing”… but they’re completely flummoxed as to what IS wrong with me.

Here’s the deal.  Beginning on my daughter’s birthday (April 11), I noticed that my left foot was swollen.  Really, really swollen.  Which was kind of bizarre, because it didn’t hurt.  I couldn’t remember having injured it in any way.  But there it was, swelled so that my ankle spilled over the top of my shoe.  So, I took myself to the Doc-In-A-Box.  Since then I’ve also been to an internist, a vascular specialist, and the ER.  I’ve spent a fortune on co-pays.  I’ve been prescribed two different diuretics in three different strengths.  It’s been six weeks now. Here’s what I DON’T have:

I don’t have congestive heart disease; blood clots; or vascular blockages from plaque, cholesterol, or other sources.  The problem is not coronary, pulmonary, or vascular.  I don’t have diabetes.  My thyroid gland is working perfectly, as are my kidneys and my liver.  In fact, if you look at my bloodwork, you would call me extraordinarily healthy.  Everything is “within normal limits”.

Well, everything except my feet are blown up like freakish balloons.  My boss has described them as “cartoon feet”.  They look like they belong to Fred Flintstone.  The swelling actually goes about 2/3 up my calf.  Once upon a time I had nice legs.  I’ve even been told that I had exceptionally nice legs.  Now, I have “cankles“.  EWWW!  And the skin is sore from being stretched.

I have a follow-up appointment with my internist on the 28th.  Maybe he’ll have some fresh ideas.

Some of these I already knew, but I learned a few new tricks here, too.

A sealed envelope - Put in the freezer for a few hours, then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be resealed.(hmmmmmm…)
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Use an empty toilet paper roll to store appliance cords. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
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For icy door steps in freezing temperatures: get warm water and put Dawn dish washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They won’t refreeze. (Wish I had known this for the last 40 years!)
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To remove old wax from a glass candle holder, put it in the freezer for a few hours. Then take the candle holder out and turn it upside down. The wax will fall out.
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Crayon marks on walls? This worked wonderfully! A damp rag, dipped in baking soda. It comes off with a little effort (elbow grease that is!).
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Permanent marker on appliances/counter tops?(like store receipt BLUE!) Wipe with rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
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Whenever I purchase a box of S.O.S Pads, I immediately take a pair of scissors and cut each pad in half. After years of having to throw away rusted and smelly, but barely used, pads, I finally decided that this would be much more economical. Now a box of S.O.S pads last me twice as long. In fact, I have noticed that the scissors get sharpened this way.
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Blood stains on clothes? Not to worry! Just pour a little hydrogen peroxide on a cloth and proceed to wipe off every drop of blood. Works every time! (Now, where to put the body?)
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Use vertical strokes when washing windows outside and horizontal for inside windows. This way you can tell which side has the streaks. Straight vinegar will get outside windows really clean. Don’t wash windows on a sunny day. They will dry too quickly and will probably streak.
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Spray a bit of perfume on the light bulb in any room to create a lovely light scent in each room when the light is turned on.
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Place fabric softener sheets in dresser drawers and your clothes will smell freshly washed for weeks to come. You can also do this with towels and linen.
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Candles will last a lot longer if placed in the freezer for at least 3 hours prior to burning.
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To clean artificial flowers, pour some salt into a paper bag and add the flowers. Shake vigorously as the salt will absorb all the dust and dirt and leave your artificial flowers looking like new! Works like a charm!
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To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove top.
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Spray your TUPPERWARE with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there won’t be any stains.
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Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
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Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half, and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
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To get rid of itch from mosquito bites, try applying soap on the area and you will experience instant relief.
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Ants, ants, ants everywhere … Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So, get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march. See for yourself.
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Use air-freshener to clean mirrors. It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.
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When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, and then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.