boots.jpgGo to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men’s used work boots, a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says “Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition – back in 1/2 hr. Don’t disturb the Pitbulls; they’ve just been wormed.”