Or, write one of your own.

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  1. ‘Why did I marry her?  Why didn’t I just put a loaded gun in my mouth?  Why God, why?’
  2. ‘Holy crap, look at that rear end.  Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its ‘Oversized Load’ sign.’
  3. ‘Somewhere, there’s two naked girls in a hot tub and I’m stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care.’
  4. ‘Sheesh, Rush is sooo right — she does sound like Nurse Ratched!’
  5. ‘My God, does that woman ever shut up?’
  6. ‘Wow!  I could’ve had a  V-8!’
  7. ‘I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!’