Actually, UN-heard lyrics. I’ve always liked the song Long Cool Woman (In A Black Dress), by the Hollies, but I could never make out the lyrics. Army of Mom got me thinking about mis-heard lyrics the other day, so I went to and looked them up. Even if you read along while you listen, the words to this song are still hard to hear.

Long Cool Woman lyrics
(Roger Greenway, Harold Clark & Roger Cook)
Vocal Arrangement: Sean Altman

Saturday night I was downtown, workin’ for the FBI
Sittin’ in a nest of bad men,
Whiskey bottles pilin’ high.
A bootleggin’ boozer on the west side,
Full o’ people who were doin’ wrong
A just about to call the DA-man,
When I heard this woman singin’ a song…
A pair o’ 45’s made me open my eyes,
My temperature started to rise

* She was a long cool woman in a black dress,
Just a 5 – 9 beautiful tall
With just one look I was a bad mess,
Cause that long cool woman had it all.

S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y night ay yeah
I saw her head up to the table
Just a tall walkin’ big black cat
A’Charlie said, “I hope that you’re able boy.”
Cause I’m tellin’ you she knows where it’s at.
Well suddenly we heard the sirens,
And everybody started to run.
Jumpin’ outta doors and tables,
Well I heard someone shootin’ a gun.
Well the DA was pumpin’ my left hand,
And she was a-holdin’ my right.
I said don’t be scared, y’gonna be spared,
Well I gotta be forgivin’
If I wanna spend my livin’ with

* Repeat

Missy was fine, she blew my mind,
I think about that woman all the time,
She was a long cool woman in a black dress…